I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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