yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Randomize
