to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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