so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
