As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize
