So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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