She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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