since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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