K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a search helicopter?!
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Randomize
