Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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