u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
