I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
