I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
