My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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