I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
