If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize