so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Randomize
