Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
