I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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