i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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