i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
