his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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