Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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