I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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