He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
