So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
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