I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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