you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
