There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
