does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
As shirtless as possible
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
