I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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