If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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