It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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