ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize