yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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