What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
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IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb