Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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