yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
