I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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