How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
