Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
