I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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