How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize