so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
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Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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