Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
