I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Alive.
So much puke
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
