i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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