idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
