So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
