Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
