Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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