I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
