Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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