Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
