I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
