I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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