it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wear drunk well.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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